Sunday, February 20, 2005
The promise that I don't know whether or not to keep.
Five years ago my best friend got sick and when she found out her daughter would be motherless asked me to be her Godmother. She left me a letter stating that if I ever felt that I had to take Robyn from her house into my own she would support my decision.
This weekend while I was in Kincardine my godchild asked me if she could come live with me after she turns 12. Because at the age of 12 she is able to go before the courts and tell the judge who she wants to live with.
When I told her that living with me would have rules and regulations, that would have to be followed and that it would not all be fun and games, she said that she knew that and would agree to follow ALL of the rules that I laid out.
It broke my heart...
I mentioned that her mother worked really hard to give custody to her step-dad. And that he would be really heartbroken to know that she wanted to leave him.
I know that she doesn't want to go to her biological fathers anymore, I know that she is angry about the Custody agreement that has been in place since she was 5. She wants to be in control of her weekends, and have better access to her friends and family on her terms... but I don't think she realizes that moving here with me is going to help that as I work too!
I told her everything is going to change when she gets into high school. She only has 2 more years then she starts grade nine... everything will be different... she doesn't care... she wants to be with me and if I won't help her she wants to live with her Grandmother (and her mother barely survived that house).
But do I keep my promise to Bec and do everything to help the child - take her and keep her happy or do I do nothing... but wait...
She turns 12 in April. I have the number for the Children's lawyers association in Toronto and they provide legal aide to kids... I think I'll wait intil after the move.
Other than that the weekend was good.
This weekend while I was in Kincardine my godchild asked me if she could come live with me after she turns 12. Because at the age of 12 she is able to go before the courts and tell the judge who she wants to live with.
When I told her that living with me would have rules and regulations, that would have to be followed and that it would not all be fun and games, she said that she knew that and would agree to follow ALL of the rules that I laid out.
It broke my heart...
I mentioned that her mother worked really hard to give custody to her step-dad. And that he would be really heartbroken to know that she wanted to leave him.
I know that she doesn't want to go to her biological fathers anymore, I know that she is angry about the Custody agreement that has been in place since she was 5. She wants to be in control of her weekends, and have better access to her friends and family on her terms... but I don't think she realizes that moving here with me is going to help that as I work too!
I told her everything is going to change when she gets into high school. She only has 2 more years then she starts grade nine... everything will be different... she doesn't care... she wants to be with me and if I won't help her she wants to live with her Grandmother (and her mother barely survived that house).
But do I keep my promise to Bec and do everything to help the child - take her and keep her happy or do I do nothing... but wait...
She turns 12 in April. I have the number for the Children's lawyers association in Toronto and they provide legal aide to kids... I think I'll wait intil after the move.
Other than that the weekend was good.
Dragonfly 2/20/2005 06:27:00 PM
3 Comments:
I'm thinking I should talk to her dad and ask for her for the summer - give her a taste of being on her own (Em would be upstairs). I would be at work and I could make sure she had everything she needed. I'll be on day shift and home every night.
I'm off for a couple of weeks in August and she goes to Lee's for the last week of July and second last week of August so the summer is split...
I tried to convince her that everything would be different in high school. She just seems so unhappy... Unhappier than me... and that scares me.
I'm off for a couple of weeks in August and she goes to Lee's for the last week of July and second last week of August so the summer is split...
I tried to convince her that everything would be different in high school. She just seems so unhappy... Unhappier than me... and that scares me.
I really don't think I can touch this one. All I will say is follow your heart, it should tell you the right thing to do.
Thanks Vegas!
I wish I didn't have to touch it either.
It is definitely a difficult situation. I need to focus on the move right now - not this...
I wish I didn't have to touch it either.
It is definitely a difficult situation. I need to focus on the move right now - not this...