Tales From the Dark Side

There are a million things I need to do.
And a couple of things I should get done.
Instead I am sitting here, playing on-line, watching ER.
Wallowing in my own self-pity.

Bleh, I say, bleh...
I just want to hide away and tell the world to go shove a long stick - well, you know where...

I really want to write about what's going on in my head...
but it's a mess in here.
Just like it's a mess in my life.
Again.
As always.

I can have peace and harmony for a while then all hell breaks loose again, and I lose my ability to function coherently, and I take on too much at one time.

And now I am at that point again.

I have 6 weeks until I HAVE to move.
I have no where to go.
I have not started packing.
I want to get rid of a lot of my stuff.
I need to get my car fixed.
My mood is shit right now... and I just want to run... run far and fast.

There's a part of me that would like to throw out everything that is unessential. Just keep things that I touch on a daily basis. As everything else just collects dust and has absolutely no use ... except to drive me insane.

But that's just stupid right.

Or is it?

Somewhere inside this head of mine
there is a creative person
a mind filled with creative thoughts and ideas
just waiting to be released

my life seems so overwhelming
that the creative juices just won't flow
the dreams are stagnant
and the thoughts run dry

When did this happen?
Writing used to be so easy
I could sit and put a pen to paper and write for hours
sometimes it was good
sometimes nonsensical

now it is nothing
a blank page

Only chaos lives inside my crazy mind
But the chaos is too random to form thoughts
My pen cannot follow them
it makes no sense.

this makes no sense.

Yesterday was one of those days. Waking up, things just felt a little off. I realized, it was a pajama day, a lounge day, stay in and do nothing, it's safer inside. Do nothing that can get yourself into trouble.

In the afternoon I stepped outside for some fresh air... I still hadn't showered, I hadn't even gotten dressed. I decided that I could drive someone around the corner, then head to the bank to deposit a check I've had for a week...

Then this happens:




I am not going into details - a fender-bender is still... A fender-bender... And my fender is bent. As is my light, slightly fractured. Poor Maggie, she didn't avoid that other car.




OH... And this is what I was wearing. The lack of shower - just gonna go through the drive-thru bank machine, and I end up with an injured car, and meeting a semi-hot guy while I look like crap!



Why Do I leave my house?
I should just have listened to my inner voice and just stayed inside. Trust me, we have the voice of Reason for a Reason!