Tales From the Dark Side

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Change Can be Good, right?!?!!??

I have been fearful about getting forced out of my cashier job for a while now. I have applied for other positions that have been more fitting to someone with a migraine, and finally gotten something.
And I am terrified.
I am now a part-time casino banker.
I no longer have full time status at the casino.
I am at the bottom of the banker seniority list.
And I have to work midnights.

How am I supposed to take my medication? My bedtime medication won't be the same if I am going to bed at 8am... the vitamins and such, yes... but do I take the nerve blocker on a different schedule or the same schedule??? I don't know.  I have no idea.

It feels like the casino is bullying me into doing something I shouldn't be doing.  There is potential for absolute chaos with this position change.

I want to be strong - say that I am strong enough to keep myself from going crazy again.  That I can and will maintain a good sleep cycle and therefore keep my sanity in check.  I vow to write, and take my medicaiton.  And i know that getting the fuck out of this house will be for the bast - but its still scary.  What if I fail??

Should I be getting a lawyer?
This feels wrong.
Dragonfly 9/23/2014 10:26:00 PM | 0 people trying to cheer me up |

Oh How Quickly the cookie crumbles

I live with an asshole.  He is 16 years old, completely selfish, a liar, a thief, lazy, a master manipulator, a bully and a jerk. It appears as if the world should revolve around the whims and moods of this boy. Nothing is ever his fault, nothing is his responsibility and at no point is he capable of taking responsibility for his actions... and GOD FORBID anyone call him on it!

I am so done with this boy.  The stress is killing me.
In the 3 hours since he got home he has:
1) been late for dinner (dinner was at 5:30, he got home at 5:50)
2) said he was full so he didn't want salad
3) ate 2 bananas and made popcorn (while his father and I left for 30 minutes from 6:15 - 6:45)
4) burnt my pasta sauce by moving it from the burner it had been on all day to one he decided was more convenient because he was making popcorn
5) opened a package of cat treats - even though he has been asked not to A- open anything without asking and B- not give the cats treats without permission. 
6) ate half a cake (maybe more) and claims to be on a diet - watching what he is eating.

1 through 5 happened before 7pm... so within an hour of his being home.
Fuck - REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!

It feels intentional.

I am walking away - for tonight.  I cleaned the kitchen, brought in the cats, and am now in bed writing... There's also a book I want to read. 

Dragonfly 9/23/2014 10:17:00 PM | 0 people trying to cheer me up |