Sunday, March 27, 2005
The Fear Challenge
This is especially difficult for me. I spent so many years living in fear, and behind my fears that now I don't even acknowledge then as such... most of the time.
But I will do my best.
1. I fear I am not good enough... at anything.
2. I fear the unknown - I want to leave my job but I don't know what to do instead so I won't leave, nor will I look for something else or take classes to improve myself.
3. I fear that I am just settling for a relationship that works because I know it is all I can handle.
4. I am afraid that my mental illness will become my childrens' mental illness.
5. I fear I will never be out of debt, yet I continue to spend as if I have the money to spend.
6. I fear I push my friends away because the relationship isn't equal.
7. I fear I give too much of myself to people and don't leave enough for me.
OK... now I'm thinking.
so I will stop.
I think that is how the rules to this challenge worked.
But I will do my best.
1. I fear I am not good enough... at anything.
2. I fear the unknown - I want to leave my job but I don't know what to do instead so I won't leave, nor will I look for something else or take classes to improve myself.
3. I fear that I am just settling for a relationship that works because I know it is all I can handle.
4. I am afraid that my mental illness will become my childrens' mental illness.
5. I fear I will never be out of debt, yet I continue to spend as if I have the money to spend.
6. I fear I push my friends away because the relationship isn't equal.
7. I fear I give too much of myself to people and don't leave enough for me.
OK... now I'm thinking.
so I will stop.
I think that is how the rules to this challenge worked.
Dragonfly 3/27/2005 08:57:00 PM
4 Comments:
Those are all valid fears.
Where did you get The Fear Challenge.
I would not worry about your future kids too much, I've heard it can skip a generation.
If you have a fear about your relationship and you are thinking what you are, you might really should think about staying in it. It really would not be fair to him or you if you are just settling.
Where did you get The Fear Challenge.
I would not worry about your future kids too much, I've heard it can skip a generation.
If you have a fear about your relationship and you are thinking what you are, you might really should think about staying in it. It really would not be fair to him or you if you are just settling.
Vegas - you must remember this is a relationship that for the last 2 and a a half years has been long distance, no word on when that might change and I only see him on weekends. BUT he's been talking about our marriage since the 6 month mark... then blames me for not looking for a job in his city, when I have said I won't move without a ring. (AKA a definitive sign of a future commitment). So like I said... maybe this is all I can handle right now. Besides I make pretty good money where I am now.
No, I understand that. He seems a little messed up about that. I was really thinking about you. It is not fair to you to be with someone who has issues. You deserve someone who would move to be with you. Or at least pop the question, so you have a reason. I left a GREAT job back home, just to move to Vegas to be with Audra. She was in school and wanted to finish. I wanted, needed her and just did it. You deserve that!
Don't worry little firefly - dragonfly is drifting in circles about this one too... I know I deserve a GREAT life and a fabulous relationship... CAN I HANDLE IT? but today is not the day to think about it.