Tales From the Dark Side

Today has been a day of questions.

This morning was Why? At work I will get the Why questions: why were you off?, why so long?, why switch casino's?

Then I switched to When? When will I stop beating myself up?, when will I stop acting the victim?, when did I get so caught up in my own melodrama WHEN I was completely fine last week...

So I switched to HOW? How am I going to get out of this little slump? How come this cat is a moron? (Ok that always comes out of left field but she is a wee bit of an idiot... I should devote a blog entirely to her antics so everyone understands...) How can I relieve the stress that I am feeling? How can I stop the tears from falling without supressing them altogether?

I don't have to answer these questions.
I just had to acknowledge them.
Now I feel better.
I realized that no matter how much I try to prepare for tomorrow, it is going to come and there may or may not be questions, people may or may not care, they may or may not ask. BUT my friends... the ones that know me best already know that I was off, why I was off and that they need not ask.
My bosses also know that I haven't been there in a while and "have my back" as it where...

I need not worry, but it is in my nature to do so. I will sleep tonight - thank goodness for the meds. I am on the perfect sleep schedule now. I am prepared.
I know what I am going to wear (we have uniforms) so I don't even have to think about that.

It is already Monday.
Tomorrow is Tuesday.
That means the weekend is almost here... mine starts on Friday!

I just needed to calm down. I finally have.

I think.

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