Monday, May 23, 2005
Good-Byes
When I was in high school there was an amazing chaplain/counsellor who really cared about the students. Mr. K was one of the nicest guys around, his door was always open and there was usually a student of 2 in his office chatting about something at any moment of the day.
One of the things he started to notice was that kids had questions about their parents divorcing. Different issues that they were noticing within themselves like insomnia, eating problems, dealing with alcoholic parents, or one parent that they never see and the fighting and Mr. K thought it would be interesting and good therapy to bring a group of the 'divorced' kids together. He called us the "Survivors".
We met in the chapel (the one room in the school that no one ever wandered into unannounced) once a week and we got out of class to do it... for me it was OAC English with Mrs. S (whom I 'totally' dispised, that woman had a pickel shoved in a very unfortunate place!). I thing there was 12 of us, all around 16 to 18 years old, Mr. K though it best to keep the same age groups together. We all had some neat cures for insomnia, and the funniest I was told that I still remember was to relax your tongue as it should not be pressed to the roof of your mouth when you are trying to sleep (sign of tension)...but I digress.
At the end of 'Survivors' Mr. K gave each of us a journal saying that writing is the best way of maintaining clarity.
At the back of the journal is a poem that he thought represented loss.
I rediscovered this poem this weekend while talking with R. It made me think of my relationship and how much I learnt during it, and from that time with him. I do not consider that time a waste, or regret anything... I am sorry to see it gone, but have accepted that it had to end. The poem, to me, sums up the whole reason to have relationships... and not give up on all of mankind...
But what do I know.
I'm just human.
Good-Byes
After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul;
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you ask for too much
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soil instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure.
that you really are strong
that you really do have worth.
And you learn
and you learn
With every good-bye, you learn...
Adam Ricker
One of the things he started to notice was that kids had questions about their parents divorcing. Different issues that they were noticing within themselves like insomnia, eating problems, dealing with alcoholic parents, or one parent that they never see and the fighting and Mr. K thought it would be interesting and good therapy to bring a group of the 'divorced' kids together. He called us the "Survivors".
We met in the chapel (the one room in the school that no one ever wandered into unannounced) once a week and we got out of class to do it... for me it was OAC English with Mrs. S (whom I 'totally' dispised, that woman had a pickel shoved in a very unfortunate place!). I thing there was 12 of us, all around 16 to 18 years old, Mr. K though it best to keep the same age groups together. We all had some neat cures for insomnia, and the funniest I was told that I still remember was to relax your tongue as it should not be pressed to the roof of your mouth when you are trying to sleep (sign of tension)...but I digress.
At the end of 'Survivors' Mr. K gave each of us a journal saying that writing is the best way of maintaining clarity.
At the back of the journal is a poem that he thought represented loss.
I rediscovered this poem this weekend while talking with R. It made me think of my relationship and how much I learnt during it, and from that time with him. I do not consider that time a waste, or regret anything... I am sorry to see it gone, but have accepted that it had to end. The poem, to me, sums up the whole reason to have relationships... and not give up on all of mankind...
But what do I know.
I'm just human.
Good-Byes
After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul;
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in midflight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you ask for too much
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soil instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure.
that you really are strong
that you really do have worth.
And you learn
and you learn
With every good-bye, you learn...
Adam Ricker
Dragonfly 5/23/2005 07:32:00 PM