Tuesday, November 01, 2005
A Collection of Randomness... Sorry
If you are going to ask for peoples support... Would it not be best to offer your support to them as well. Work is so much better when supervisors and management follow the rules they expect the staff to adhere too... the day goes smoother.
I was told by a patron today that I made their day brighter. Usually they have bad experiences, but I made it better. I made sure to tell the supervisor what she said. The supervisor focused on the negative... Not he positive... I wasn't praised. I don't want a pat on the back.. I just want acknowledgement.
My cat is stupid. I hate the bird again. I ignore him a lot of the time. I feel bad about it too. But they are mine... And I chose them... I think.
I dreamt about a snowstorm last night. My car was parked in front of my childhood home, when the neighbours truck slid down his driveway and crashed into my car. My poor car ended up on it's roof in the front yard, broken and battered. I awoke very upset. Because I had dreamt about the destruction of my car... Again, my childhood home and snow. My three least favourite things.
My life is out of my hands again. I feel like it is out of control and I am just along for the ride. I don't particularly like this, and part of me wants to get off... Part of me wants to see where I end up. Mostly I just want someone to hold my hand and tell me that I am not alone. Or a hug.
I am afraid to cry, I don't think I would be able to stop if I started.
When I eat too much sugar I get a tummy ache... I had a tummy ache all day today.
I really want the slide to be fixed at aquafit... I miss it. But I now touch the bottom of the pool everytime I jump in... When I first started going I had to struggle to touch the bottom in the deep end. Not anymore.
I really hate salads. I force myself to eat them everyday. It's going to be a long winter at this rate. Why does it get harder and harder to eat the food that is best for you when cold weather comes? All summer I was fine... But now I just don't want salad. It really disappoints me. Yes there is soup too... But that doesn't get the veggies in me... Does it!!!???
I have to sleep. But I don't sleep well. Not when my brain is like this. Too many thoughts running in circles and I have to let them out. I could take my 'insomnia' pills but I don't want to be hungover tomorrow - besides they make me grumpy. And I am grumpy enough.
I have to go to bed... Now
I was told by a patron today that I made their day brighter. Usually they have bad experiences, but I made it better. I made sure to tell the supervisor what she said. The supervisor focused on the negative... Not he positive... I wasn't praised. I don't want a pat on the back.. I just want acknowledgement.
My cat is stupid. I hate the bird again. I ignore him a lot of the time. I feel bad about it too. But they are mine... And I chose them... I think.
I dreamt about a snowstorm last night. My car was parked in front of my childhood home, when the neighbours truck slid down his driveway and crashed into my car. My poor car ended up on it's roof in the front yard, broken and battered. I awoke very upset. Because I had dreamt about the destruction of my car... Again, my childhood home and snow. My three least favourite things.
My life is out of my hands again. I feel like it is out of control and I am just along for the ride. I don't particularly like this, and part of me wants to get off... Part of me wants to see where I end up. Mostly I just want someone to hold my hand and tell me that I am not alone. Or a hug.
I am afraid to cry, I don't think I would be able to stop if I started.
When I eat too much sugar I get a tummy ache... I had a tummy ache all day today.
I really want the slide to be fixed at aquafit... I miss it. But I now touch the bottom of the pool everytime I jump in... When I first started going I had to struggle to touch the bottom in the deep end. Not anymore.
I really hate salads. I force myself to eat them everyday. It's going to be a long winter at this rate. Why does it get harder and harder to eat the food that is best for you when cold weather comes? All summer I was fine... But now I just don't want salad. It really disappoints me. Yes there is soup too... But that doesn't get the veggies in me... Does it!!!???
I have to sleep. But I don't sleep well. Not when my brain is like this. Too many thoughts running in circles and I have to let them out. I could take my 'insomnia' pills but I don't want to be hungover tomorrow - besides they make me grumpy. And I am grumpy enough.
I have to go to bed... Now
Dragonfly 11/01/2005 11:59:00 PM
1 Comments:
Sometimes I feel like I'm standing in a big hole and the world is whizzing by me. All I want is for one person to stop and say "need a hand?" But sometimes that never happens and it's up to me to force myself to claw out of the hole. You start to feel like you're the only one you can count on, thank god for the friends who offer the hand... I hope Wednesday was better for you!
