Tales From the Dark Side

Why ask if you don't want to know the answer?
and if the answer isn't one you don't want to hear, why give advice that suits yourself and not the person to whom you are speaking?

Why is it that the act of asking becomes a cover for pushing your own beliefs on someone else?
Why can't I make sense of any of this?


it's one thing to be heard
it's another to listen
but if you are going to ask
you have to listen too
or you are just wasting everyone's time

and if you don't want to know
Don't waste my time

I had a friend ask what I was doing on my vacation
when my response was not to that friends liking
I was told to go to Dominican republic or Cuba
I gave my reasons for not wanting to go there
no one to go with, friends unavailable
I was told to go to Australia
I said money was an issue

I was then told that I am an "I can't" person
and that he didn't know why he wasted his time talking to me.
And with that he signed off.

The words "I can't" were not a part of that conversation.
I do not use them.
I realize that there are so many aspects of myself that I keep hidden from my acquaintances.
People may consider themselves my friend
But they really don't know me
And if they don't take the time to listen to me
I will not continue to give my time to them.

The things I hide:
Becca, her daughter, my feelings about them both
and the lengths I will go to remain in her life.
My medical condition
my family
the things I really want from life

I don't do it to be mean or shy
I don't do it to be disrespectful
I just do not expect everyone to understand the basic dynamic that is my life
It just means that I have less explaining to do
that I don't have to be the center of attention for long
and that I will be left to my own devices

so why do I feel like I have done something wrong?

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