Saturday, September 30, 2006
And so it Begins
I can't say I am dreading changing shifts. I'm just not looking forward to it.
It might be nice having the mornings to go to the gym, make dinner, have a proper lunch, shop, play with the bird. Although.. I would rather it begin after my days off instead of in the middle of my work week... It kind of makes it seem ... Um ... Dazed and confused.
But I remember being on this shift before and not leaving the house all day every day because I was sleeping right up until I had to leave for work, not talking to anyone, eating crap. Then staying up for 3 hours after getting home from work.
I remember the problems keeping my mood stable, the depression, the frustration, the feeling of fighting to stay sane.
My shift manager says that I can come vent to her any time... But I don't think that my insanity should be fully revealed at work.
I feel like a more normal person on this shift. This late day shift is more suitable to my mood. I can sleep in a little bit.. Get up before 9AM. Get ready and leave for work. Work all day, go to the gym... Come home and relax before going to bed before midnight. A relatively normal schedule. Swing... I don't start until 3 or 4pm.. maybe 5pm if they don't honor the doctor's note (which I found out today they might not... Fantastic!). My plan is to get up, go to the gym. Come home and have my shake, make a dinner for work, have lunch before leaving the house for work - around 1 or 2 pm... Then do homework, clean or shop maybe play Tiger Woods for a while before leaving for work. I need to go to bed within 30 minutes of getting home... That's the only way I won't sleep all day. But I need to get into a schedule. And I want to keep my activity level up.
I'm just afraid I'm going to end up worse than I was before... With the rapid cycling and the anxiety. I can't fear it.. I just have to be prepared. Or hope that I'm not over-thinking and over-reaching like I sometimes do.
I have to think positive.
It's just hard to do that when everyone is so negative.
I am scared.
Wednesday I have to go decide my new "shift" and hope I get the days off I want.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the new shift and everyone is going to new shifts, new templates, some are going to the other site. It's a different world all of a sudden.
And so it begins.
It might be nice having the mornings to go to the gym, make dinner, have a proper lunch, shop, play with the bird. Although.. I would rather it begin after my days off instead of in the middle of my work week... It kind of makes it seem ... Um ... Dazed and confused.
But I remember being on this shift before and not leaving the house all day every day because I was sleeping right up until I had to leave for work, not talking to anyone, eating crap. Then staying up for 3 hours after getting home from work.
I remember the problems keeping my mood stable, the depression, the frustration, the feeling of fighting to stay sane.
My shift manager says that I can come vent to her any time... But I don't think that my insanity should be fully revealed at work.
I feel like a more normal person on this shift. This late day shift is more suitable to my mood. I can sleep in a little bit.. Get up before 9AM. Get ready and leave for work. Work all day, go to the gym... Come home and relax before going to bed before midnight. A relatively normal schedule. Swing... I don't start until 3 or 4pm.. maybe 5pm if they don't honor the doctor's note (which I found out today they might not... Fantastic!). My plan is to get up, go to the gym. Come home and have my shake, make a dinner for work, have lunch before leaving the house for work - around 1 or 2 pm... Then do homework, clean or shop maybe play Tiger Woods for a while before leaving for work. I need to go to bed within 30 minutes of getting home... That's the only way I won't sleep all day. But I need to get into a schedule. And I want to keep my activity level up.
I'm just afraid I'm going to end up worse than I was before... With the rapid cycling and the anxiety. I can't fear it.. I just have to be prepared. Or hope that I'm not over-thinking and over-reaching like I sometimes do.
I have to think positive.
It's just hard to do that when everyone is so negative.
I am scared.
Wednesday I have to go decide my new "shift" and hope I get the days off I want.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the new shift and everyone is going to new shifts, new templates, some are going to the other site. It's a different world all of a sudden.
And so it begins.
Dragonfly 9/30/2006 08:10:00 PM