Monday, November 13, 2006
What if?
These are the two most self-destructive words on the planet. We can all live our lives repeating those two words and never getting anywhere. Those two words create more questions, more anxiety, more angst.
What if he still loved me?
What if I didn't have a bird?
What if I don't go to work today - or every again?
What if I drive my car off the bridge - will anyone miss me?
What if I could make it all disappear?
What if I was normal?
What if I could leave the house and not have to take the iPod with me - just to remain invisible and ignore the rest of the world?
What if I could run away from it all?
Running... That's the easy solution - temporary, but easy. Your troubles always find you. Nothing can make them fully go away.
Running on the track this morning - round and round I went - my mind finally cleared. Until my body gave out.
I still want to run - but at least on the track I can't get far.
What if I could run forever?
What if?
What if he still loved me?
What if I didn't have a bird?
What if I don't go to work today - or every again?
What if I drive my car off the bridge - will anyone miss me?
What if I could make it all disappear?
What if I was normal?
What if I could leave the house and not have to take the iPod with me - just to remain invisible and ignore the rest of the world?
What if I could run away from it all?
Running... That's the easy solution - temporary, but easy. Your troubles always find you. Nothing can make them fully go away.
Running on the track this morning - round and round I went - my mind finally cleared. Until my body gave out.
I still want to run - but at least on the track I can't get far.
What if I could run forever?
What if?
Dragonfly 11/13/2006 10:13:00 AM
4 Comments:
We would miss you!
I know we are far away but we are only a phone call or IM away!
Don't forget we will always be there for you!
I know we are far away but we are only a phone call or IM away!
Don't forget we will always be there for you!
Although now it seems so easy to fall into the trap of the "WHAT IF's" Think for a moment that for a moment you answer all these "What IF's" with yes. What would change?
if he stilled loved you would you be happy?
If you didn't have the bird...would that make your lonliness better?
If you din't go to work today or ever again would that help you get through life without anyone getting close enough?
If you drove your car off the bridge would that stop the pain?
If it all disappeared would that make your time less important?
If you were normal...What the Fuck is that anyway...really. i think you are Normal.
If you managed to use anything to ignore the whole world would that make you happier or just more alone?
If you kept running and running would you not just get back to where you atarted and would anything have changed?
I LOVE YOU DEARLY. More than you could ever imagine, or dream of. I know I do. I know that the bird is a pain sometimes but he is your firend when you can't stand anyone else to be there.
I know whether you work or don't it is only what you do and it is not you.
I know I would be crushed in that car crash with you if that were to happen.
I know wishing or hoping it all will disappear is putting your focus on things you know is not going to make things better.
I know that you are normal for we all have our things that make us who we are.
I know that if the Ipod makes things easier for the moment then use that but don;t hold so tight you can't let go.
I know although running is what you would love to do it will only remain the same in the end just you will be much more tired for it.
I also know that you are brave, and you have the strength to get through this. You have before and you will this time. Never give up my fighting friend. I am always here for you and if you need me there you know without hesitation I will be there. I know you need your space but don't shut us out. We love you and are here for you always, my love.
XXX OOO
if he stilled loved you would you be happy?
If you didn't have the bird...would that make your lonliness better?
If you din't go to work today or ever again would that help you get through life without anyone getting close enough?
If you drove your car off the bridge would that stop the pain?
If it all disappeared would that make your time less important?
If you were normal...What the Fuck is that anyway...really. i think you are Normal.
If you managed to use anything to ignore the whole world would that make you happier or just more alone?
If you kept running and running would you not just get back to where you atarted and would anything have changed?
I LOVE YOU DEARLY. More than you could ever imagine, or dream of. I know I do. I know that the bird is a pain sometimes but he is your firend when you can't stand anyone else to be there.
I know whether you work or don't it is only what you do and it is not you.
I know I would be crushed in that car crash with you if that were to happen.
I know wishing or hoping it all will disappear is putting your focus on things you know is not going to make things better.
I know that you are normal for we all have our things that make us who we are.
I know that if the Ipod makes things easier for the moment then use that but don;t hold so tight you can't let go.
I know although running is what you would love to do it will only remain the same in the end just you will be much more tired for it.
I also know that you are brave, and you have the strength to get through this. You have before and you will this time. Never give up my fighting friend. I am always here for you and if you need me there you know without hesitation I will be there. I know you need your space but don't shut us out. We love you and are here for you always, my love.
XXX OOO
What if...we lived next door to each other. Wouldn't that be a good What if? :-)
Miss ya!
Miss ya!
TDG: that would be great
and I miss you too.
and I miss you too.