Monday, December 04, 2006
Call me what you will, I can't do it anymore.
There's a funny side effect to coming off medication that you have been on for ... well... ages. It is something like having every nerve exposed and every feeling multiplied by 4. Nothing is numb. NOTHING!
Even though I am in a pretty good mood (I have my momnets of coursem but generally I am in a pretty good mood) I find that I have NO PATIENCE! NO patience for anyone with negative thoughts, no patience for the movie to start, no patience for the bird (OK ~ that one isn't new).
I mean, everytime I talk to someone I feel like I am being suffocated, and I don't want to deal with anyone unless it is a funny conversation. The dark and negativity that surrounds others in my own life is too much for me to handle, let alone those of others.
I am trying to maintain a positive attitude. I am doing something that is making me feel better, but I refuse to deal with anyone or their crap.
It sounds selfish - and it probably is - but I have enough going on in my head without dealing with anyone elses insecurities or trivialities.
No.. I am not mad at anyone, I am just annoyed with the emotions that come from being a "friend"... especially an unmedicated friend.
I guess it's harder than I thought.
On the positive... just over a week then I am on the medications again! Yeah.. medicated normalcy... I never thought I would want it, but I do.
Even though I am in a pretty good mood (I have my momnets of coursem but generally I am in a pretty good mood) I find that I have NO PATIENCE! NO patience for anyone with negative thoughts, no patience for the movie to start, no patience for the bird (OK ~ that one isn't new).
I mean, everytime I talk to someone I feel like I am being suffocated, and I don't want to deal with anyone unless it is a funny conversation. The dark and negativity that surrounds others in my own life is too much for me to handle, let alone those of others.
I am trying to maintain a positive attitude. I am doing something that is making me feel better, but I refuse to deal with anyone or their crap.
It sounds selfish - and it probably is - but I have enough going on in my head without dealing with anyone elses insecurities or trivialities.
No.. I am not mad at anyone, I am just annoyed with the emotions that come from being a "friend"... especially an unmedicated friend.
I guess it's harder than I thought.
On the positive... just over a week then I am on the medications again! Yeah.. medicated normalcy... I never thought I would want it, but I do.
Dragonfly 12/04/2006 10:19:00 AM