Tales From the Dark Side

Sometimes the things I say freak me out...
R's father-in-law is dying... the doctors early last week gave him days or maybe weeks... We called his only living daughter and she came down here... she was trying to figure out how much time she had before her dad passed... and I listened to my gut and said "Tuesday".
Today is Tuesday... we got the call that her dad is unresponsive. They want everyone to come say goodbye today. I don't want to believe that I was right... I have been told that if I listen Pam and Becca will tell me what I need to know... I guess this is just one of the times I don't want them to be right.

My mood is shit right now, its hard to isolate the reason why. Life is overwhelming, so is the pain, and I don't know how much more I can take. Plus there are 2 family members that are dying... slow and painful deaths. I have been asking Archangel Rapphael to relive the pain, both for me andfor Jim and Steve, to ease our suffering, and bring peace... I guess what I forget is that the easing of pain and suffering for them causes pain, suffering an turmoil for the rest of the family.