Wednesday, June 01, 2011
I don't know
I don't know why I feel this way, and why I can't break the cycle... I want food. All sorts of food. I want that comfort feeling I could get... feeling full inside and feeling comforted outside. There is nothing on this diet that can do that for me...
I don't know why the deaths of 2 people who aren't my family are affecting me so much. I feel relief that they are no longer suffering, and that the kids seem to be OK with the deaths of their grandparents. Maybe its the proximity, the closeness of the passings, 2 people, divorced for over a decade pass within 10 days of each other. Maybe its that I feel like a bystander, that my family isn't a part of this, that even though they welcomed me in to the family I am not really a part of it.
It makes me feel isolated. not officially being part of the family. Especially now.
I don't know why the deaths of 2 people who aren't my family are affecting me so much. I feel relief that they are no longer suffering, and that the kids seem to be OK with the deaths of their grandparents. Maybe its the proximity, the closeness of the passings, 2 people, divorced for over a decade pass within 10 days of each other. Maybe its that I feel like a bystander, that my family isn't a part of this, that even though they welcomed me in to the family I am not really a part of it.
It makes me feel isolated. not officially being part of the family. Especially now.
Dragonfly 6/01/2011 07:33:00 PM