Saturday, January 12, 2013
Feelings of Abandonment? Really?
I know texting isn't the most ideal method of communication. I get it, but really, is it too much to ask to get a response.
I hate going away without Rob. I cherish his touch, the comfort I get from just being around him. And being apart is physically draining for me. So those texts... well, they give me emotional strength. If I ask him a direct question I do get an answer... usually... but replying immediately does not always get a response... and it breaks my heart.
Just typing this I am crying.
I cannot help but feel like an idiot for needing the contact, regardless of how stupid texting may be. But there it is. Being alone, without him. And my feeling like I have been abandoned or am being punished for going to see my family without him. He couldn't come on this trip because of having to work today and driving to Windsor for an afternoon is ridiculous! It is such a long journey. And I feel like I am being punished.
Maybe this is what Melissa meant that I am being controlled by him... he has too tight a hold on my emotional happiness... Stupid love.
I hate going away without Rob. I cherish his touch, the comfort I get from just being around him. And being apart is physically draining for me. So those texts... well, they give me emotional strength. If I ask him a direct question I do get an answer... usually... but replying immediately does not always get a response... and it breaks my heart.
Just typing this I am crying.
I cannot help but feel like an idiot for needing the contact, regardless of how stupid texting may be. But there it is. Being alone, without him. And my feeling like I have been abandoned or am being punished for going to see my family without him. He couldn't come on this trip because of having to work today and driving to Windsor for an afternoon is ridiculous! It is such a long journey. And I feel like I am being punished.
Maybe this is what Melissa meant that I am being controlled by him... he has too tight a hold on my emotional happiness... Stupid love.
Dragonfly 1/12/2013 11:46:00 PM