Tuesday, June 24, 2014
An Open Letter To my Son
I know you may not understand this, or even accept it... you are the only son I will ever have, and I truly think of you that way. I know I don't say it, I don't think you want to hear it from me, because who am I - just the bitch who is sleeping with your father. Right?!
Your mother will always be your mom... she bore you, fed you all the right food, gave you a love of vegetables and encouraged you to be helpful, sweet, kind and a loving brother. Then the unthinkable happened... she left you, abandoned you without a word. She didn't do it out of spite, or to be mean, she did it because it was her time. I know we aren't religious - you weren't raised that way... but the theory behind death is that we have a specific time here amoung the living - either a length of time or the time to complete a task/make some difference or contribution to this world. I believe that your mom's completes her task - and fought dying as long as she could - and she fought well. I believe she was as stubborn as you are.
My hope for you is the same that any mother wants for their children... for you to be happy, healthy, and a good person. That you can go out into the world capable of looking after yourself, and being a productive member of society. And not doing anything that will get you arrested.
Yes... this is your life. Do I think you are happy? NO.
Everyday I see your sad eyes, and all I can think is how I just want to hug you and take away all of your pain, sadness and grief. I want you to see a picture of your mom and be joyful, not sad. I wish I could make you see the love all around you, that you are not alone in this world, that you are loved, and wanted by your father... and by me.
I don't want you to call me Mom... you have a mom - her name is Pam. SHE is the ony one who gets that title for you... I want you to accept me as a substitute... as the one who wants the same things for you that Pam does. I do everything for you that she did - I cook your dinner, pack your lunches, do your shopping, clean your house, do your laundry... Hell I even do your chores for you!!! I'm not asking for the title, I'm asking for acceptance.
Mostly I want you to believe that I love you. I want you to stop being hurtful, spiteful and disrespectful.
I want you to be happy, healthy, helpful, kind, a joy to everyone around you. I want you to be the best that you can be..Because that's what mothers do.
Love. ALWAYS.
Dragonfly 6/24/2014 10:27:00 AM
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