Tales From the Dark Side

You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing on my mind before I sleep. I reach for you at night and find you in my dreams. You are always in my thoughts, never far away.

I have given you my heart, a choice I made at your request. I let you in, and i can't imagine you not being a part of my life. I admit we haven't had the best couple of years but everyday I was grateful for you, for your hugs, your amazing kisses, your touch and your smile. Myy heart flipped every time you walked int the room... even when I was stark-raving mad at you all I wanted was for you to take me in  your arms. You made everyday bearable, you made the pain worthwhile. You made it easy for me to smile. Being with you has been the best part of my existance. Thank you for allowing me the privilige of being in your life. I would do anything for you. Taking care of you is easy, I love cooking your dinner and cleaning your house - trying to make it easier for you was the way i showed you my love.

I know I am not an easy person, I try everyday to let my worries go, to be as relaxed and laid back as you. It was easy for a while, you made it easy. 

All of this, this separation, this pain, this hurt, it is almost too much to bear. I noticed that you stopped asking how I am a while ago, I don't know if its because I am an open book - or you assume you know how I am, or how my day has been. Now that I am not sharing your bed, or staying in your house you have become even more distant. It hurts even more. I remember you saying you have never broken up with someone, but then I wonder if you just pulled away from those girls emotinally until they gave up and ended it... and I question, is that what you are doing with me? If so, you need to man up. If not, you need to choose to let me in - not to your house, but into your head. Commmunication is the cornerstone to every good relationship. If you don't see a future with me then so be it, right now the scenarios that run through my head regarding my future all include you.

I am choosing not to give up on us.

Because right now... you mean everything to me.