Saturday, July 18, 2015
I Want My Heart Back
Its breaking over and over, with each passing day, with every text that goes unanswered, with every heartbeat, the pain intensifies.
I want it back, something I never thought I was capable of giving, something that I hold so dear, so protected, and now its gone.
I have to let him go, if he wants me as much as I want him, he will come back. Hopefully he will be healed, and happy, and we will be as it was in the beginning. But in the meantime I want it back... if only to protect myself from more pain, from more heartbreak, from more sadness.
I hate that I cry... all the time.
It disturbs me that I can't adequately explain how I feel to the 3 people that actually talk to me. I can't explain what's in my heart, and I can't explain the logic going on in my head.
I can't describe the loneliness without sounding like I am begging for company.
I can't explain why I wan't him, the way that I do.
I just want to be ok.
I just want to be whole.
I want to be busy.
I want the uncertainty to end.
I want to know.
And I want my heart back, where I can keep it safe, protect it, and choose once again what I do with it.
And I want my man back... whole, smiling, and willing to be mine.
Dragonfly 7/18/2015 01:50:00 AM