Tuesday, August 11, 2015
An Open Letter to the Love of my Life
My heart breaks a little more with each passing day. The pain hasn't subsided. The uncertainty is frightening.
I know in my head that you are gone, you have chosen to walk away, you have made your decision... without saying a word, you have made your decision.
And my heart breaks.
Everyday... over and over again.
I have shed millions of tears. My pillow is stained from the tears shed while I have slept. The loneliness of your loss is devastating. I grow tired of the act of living like I am ok with your decision. Every person I have shared my heartache with has told me to let you go...
This is too difficult. I have made a choice to love you, to let you in, to live my life with you and only you as my rock, my heart, and my future. Making that choice was so very difficult for me... and I have no idea how to let that go. My stubborness is my burden. I can't let go. I don't want to.
I don't agree with how you are treating me... ignoring someone, leaving them hanging is complete, and total cowardice. I hope and pray that your daughter never experiences a "break-up" like this. It is unacceptable on so many levels, intentional neglect (whether you see it that way or not), that is what it is.
And I still want you.
I miss your smile, I long to see your face. I want, more than anything, for you to take me in your arms, shower me with kisses, tell me over and over that you love me, and beg for my forgiveness. I dream of you taking me to bed, making love all night, holding me in your arms for all eternity.
Through all this pain, this heartache, the shame and embarrassment, the loneliness, fear and uncertainty... I still want you.
I think this is the hardest part.
I need you to release me... if that is your choice.
I need to hear it from you.
Until then I am stuck, here in limbo... waiting for your approval, or your rejection. The words don't matter... I need to hear it.
Dragonfly 8/11/2015 01:56:00 PM