Thursday, January 03, 2008
Happy New Year?
I find it interesting that I haen't been writing. It's supposed to be therapy for me. But as it turns out I have absolutey nothing to say. The things that I wonder about are the same things I have questioned for years. The obvious "Will I ever get my weight under control?" "Is there a medication out there that will stabalize me, and how long till we find it?" "what am I going to do if I Can't return to work?"
But these things are almost out of my control. I have a basic plan if I get offered the buyout at work... a medical office assistant and then a job wherever... I think I will even move to Windsor to be around my family. My weight I have some control over, and I am watching what I put in my body... at least since Christmas, but even then I didn't eat badly at all. Pretty good for me! And the medication question... I know there is something, but there's only so many things I can take at once, so... the try and try again game continues! Next up Wellbutrin! hurray? I guess.
So what have I been doing?
Napping, spending money I don't have (stupid Christmas), napping, playing with the cat, napping, being annoyed by the bird, and did I mention napping. I think I've read a few books too, that's why there's so much napping. Being on leave is getting really really boring. Going to group (every Thursday) is just as aggravating too. Yes - the techniques are interesting. Yes - I have learned more about the disorder itself. Yet having them tell me that the way to ward off boredom is too go to the library, or the gym, or skating, or a walk. I know I can do all those things... but I don't want o do them alone. I long for human intellectual interaction. My friends have nothing to say to me anymore, I have no interesting stories. None... it's a very boring existence.
Very boring indeed.
But these things are almost out of my control. I have a basic plan if I get offered the buyout at work... a medical office assistant and then a job wherever... I think I will even move to Windsor to be around my family. My weight I have some control over, and I am watching what I put in my body... at least since Christmas, but even then I didn't eat badly at all. Pretty good for me! And the medication question... I know there is something, but there's only so many things I can take at once, so... the try and try again game continues! Next up Wellbutrin! hurray? I guess.
So what have I been doing?
Napping, spending money I don't have (stupid Christmas), napping, playing with the cat, napping, being annoyed by the bird, and did I mention napping. I think I've read a few books too, that's why there's so much napping. Being on leave is getting really really boring. Going to group (every Thursday) is just as aggravating too. Yes - the techniques are interesting. Yes - I have learned more about the disorder itself. Yet having them tell me that the way to ward off boredom is too go to the library, or the gym, or skating, or a walk. I know I can do all those things... but I don't want o do them alone. I long for human intellectual interaction. My friends have nothing to say to me anymore, I have no interesting stories. None... it's a very boring existence.
Very boring indeed.
Dragonfly 1/03/2008 07:02:00 PM