Monday, May 17, 2010
friendship - and the power of
This has been bothering me for a while.. and I can't figure out how to rectify the situation.
But first- the history.
Becca and I became friends in 1994. The year I turned 20 (actually on my 20Th birthday). Before me, Becca had her sister D and her BFF Trudy.
Robyn was born April 1993.
Becca's priority was her daughter.
D was being a typical teen... fighting with parents, arguing, getting into trouble.
T was into the bar scene... drinking, boyfriends - both casual and not. She was making decisions that Becca didn't agree with.
So as Becca and I became closer and realized that we wanted to grow up, me to go to school and escape small town life and her to raise her daughter and go to school she drifted away from T and D.
When Bec got sick, things changed. Those around her that were close loved and respected her drive, determination and fight. While others stayed away, not sure of how to deal with Bec's and their own mortality. After she died, the friends that had drifted stayed away.
It has been 10 years.
there was a memorial to commemorate the day.
Neither T nor D wanted me there, as they felt I took Becca away from them.
I know that had Bec survived every one's life would be different. She would be so close to T and D because they too have grown, become mothers and are making responsible choices for themselves and their families. Of course Bec and I would still be soul mates (as we called each other) but there was always room for them.
I guess it saddens me that T and D have not grown and learned to forgive themselves for choosing to "walk away" from her. they missed out on her most important lessons... to live life, love everyone and everything. and don't look back - look to the future. you can't change the past but you can definitely know what's coming and what is important. Friends!
But first- the history.
Becca and I became friends in 1994. The year I turned 20 (actually on my 20Th birthday). Before me, Becca had her sister D and her BFF Trudy.
Robyn was born April 1993.
Becca's priority was her daughter.
D was being a typical teen... fighting with parents, arguing, getting into trouble.
T was into the bar scene... drinking, boyfriends - both casual and not. She was making decisions that Becca didn't agree with.
So as Becca and I became closer and realized that we wanted to grow up, me to go to school and escape small town life and her to raise her daughter and go to school she drifted away from T and D.
When Bec got sick, things changed. Those around her that were close loved and respected her drive, determination and fight. While others stayed away, not sure of how to deal with Bec's and their own mortality. After she died, the friends that had drifted stayed away.
It has been 10 years.
there was a memorial to commemorate the day.
Neither T nor D wanted me there, as they felt I took Becca away from them.
I know that had Bec survived every one's life would be different. She would be so close to T and D because they too have grown, become mothers and are making responsible choices for themselves and their families. Of course Bec and I would still be soul mates (as we called each other) but there was always room for them.
I guess it saddens me that T and D have not grown and learned to forgive themselves for choosing to "walk away" from her. they missed out on her most important lessons... to live life, love everyone and everything. and don't look back - look to the future. you can't change the past but you can definitely know what's coming and what is important. Friends!
Labels: Bec, family, forgiveness, friendship
Dragonfly 5/17/2010 01:10:00 PM