Monday, May 17, 2010
friendship - and the power of
This has been bothering me for a while.. and I can't figure out how to rectify the situation.
But first- the history.
Becca and I became friends in 1994. The year I turned 20 (actually on my 20Th birthday). Before me, Becca had her sister D and her BFF Trudy.
Robyn was born April 1993.
Becca's priority was her daughter.
D was being a typical teen... fighting with parents, arguing, getting into trouble.
T was into the bar scene... drinking, boyfriends - both casual and not. She was making decisions that Becca didn't agree with.
So as Becca and I became closer and realized that we wanted to grow up, me to go to school and escape small town life and her to raise her daughter and go to school she drifted away from T and D.
When Bec got sick, things changed. Those around her that were close loved and respected her drive, determination and fight. While others stayed away, not sure of how to deal with Bec's and their own mortality. After she died, the friends that had drifted stayed away.
It has been 10 years.
there was a memorial to commemorate the day.
Neither T nor D wanted me there, as they felt I took Becca away from them.
I know that had Bec survived every one's life would be different. She would be so close to T and D because they too have grown, become mothers and are making responsible choices for themselves and their families. Of course Bec and I would still be soul mates (as we called each other) but there was always room for them.
I guess it saddens me that T and D have not grown and learned to forgive themselves for choosing to "walk away" from her. they missed out on her most important lessons... to live life, love everyone and everything. and don't look back - look to the future. you can't change the past but you can definitely know what's coming and what is important. Friends!
But first- the history.
Becca and I became friends in 1994. The year I turned 20 (actually on my 20Th birthday). Before me, Becca had her sister D and her BFF Trudy.
Robyn was born April 1993.
Becca's priority was her daughter.
D was being a typical teen... fighting with parents, arguing, getting into trouble.
T was into the bar scene... drinking, boyfriends - both casual and not. She was making decisions that Becca didn't agree with.
So as Becca and I became closer and realized that we wanted to grow up, me to go to school and escape small town life and her to raise her daughter and go to school she drifted away from T and D.
When Bec got sick, things changed. Those around her that were close loved and respected her drive, determination and fight. While others stayed away, not sure of how to deal with Bec's and their own mortality. After she died, the friends that had drifted stayed away.
It has been 10 years.
there was a memorial to commemorate the day.
Neither T nor D wanted me there, as they felt I took Becca away from them.
I know that had Bec survived every one's life would be different. She would be so close to T and D because they too have grown, become mothers and are making responsible choices for themselves and their families. Of course Bec and I would still be soul mates (as we called each other) but there was always room for them.
I guess it saddens me that T and D have not grown and learned to forgive themselves for choosing to "walk away" from her. they missed out on her most important lessons... to live life, love everyone and everything. and don't look back - look to the future. you can't change the past but you can definitely know what's coming and what is important. Friends!
Labels: Bec, family, forgiveness, friendship
Dragonfly 5/17/2010 01:10:00 PM
| 0 people trying to cheer me up
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Sunday, January 27, 2008
Chaotic Dischord
There's something to be said for friendship.
My friends care,and some take the time to understand what I am going through.
Today it really hit home the differences in personalities between myself and my friends. One will give all of herself to ensure someone else's happiness, often to the detriment of herself.
The other believes that negative actions mean negative repercussions. If someone hurts or harms or upsets you them according to her you should "stand up" for yourself and make a scene.
In my family making a scene, telling people how you feel or how you have been hurt does not accomplish anything except cause rifts between those members. And as far as I am concerned I am not upset with my family - just disappointed. And nothing they can do or say will ever change that. I may forgive them in time, but for now, it is unimportant.
I have a medical disorder, and as such I should be able to rely on my family in times of need. Yet over the last 34 years my family has never been there for one another, so why would they start now, especially when I need help the most.
George left today. The adoption people came to get him and look him away, they will find him a new home. A better home. A home where he won't be threatened by my moods, I know he is better off. I will miss him. I have faith that I have done the right thing.
Labels: bi-polar, family, friendship
Dragonfly 1/27/2008 11:25:00 PM
| 0 people trying to cheer me up
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